Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Randomize
