Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Randomize
