i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
