i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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