I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Randomize