I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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