Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
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