Having a random hookup so left but love u
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Randomize
