doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Can I color on your dick again?
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
