Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
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