Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
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