is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
