I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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