I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
false alarm. still invincible.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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