Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
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