its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Randomize
