Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize
