I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
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