I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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