Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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