I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
