Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
