If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize