Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
i think i scared a bird with my dick
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Randomize
