oh god the rape fog is back!
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Randomize
