So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Come share oat with me in your robe
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Randomize
