My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize