found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
