I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
