you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I just had sex on a roof
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
