Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Randomize
