i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
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