i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I want to have your abortion
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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