yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
