I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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