So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Randomize
