just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
