I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
