Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize