I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize