So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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