i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Randomize
