8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Are we still banned from the library?
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
