My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
Randomize
