Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
