i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Randomize
