Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
