I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
