Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
