its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
COCAINE IS GR8
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
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