Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Randomize
