Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
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