the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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