What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
