From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
