sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
I think i peed on brittanys purse
i think i have herpe
just one?
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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