I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
I just found puke in my bra..
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize