never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
