At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
