it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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