I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
