life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
