Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
