Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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