my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I enjoy the company of your penis
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
