i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
I currently don't understand fingers.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
