i'm signing you up for texting rehab
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
We were destined to go to rehab together
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Randomize
