Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
In other news, I just burned my penis
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
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