You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize