I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
