Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Boobs are out for the taking
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
