Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
But theres a keg here and me gusta
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Randomize
