i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
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