Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
