Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
