one two three fourrrrnication!
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
