She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
