So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
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