Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize
